Three...Two...One...
Guess who's back? Back again? In case you can't figure it out....Charbie's back. Back to inform my favourite people that I am back this time to stay awhile. To tell you the truth I'm kinda scared this time around. Scared to type a word. Hesitant. This type of fear is unknown to the likes of me. This is why I've no idea what to do. "Not a clue of what to do," said the sailor. I have no idea what the answer is, heck, I'm not even so sure as to what the question would be.??? So what do you say we try to get a handle on the situation?
I certainly do feel as though I belong in a much happier realm than I am currently in. Sometimes I'm feelin' it, sometimes I'm not. When I am in groups of people I care about, like I was at the Terry Fox run, I felt it then. I felt as if there was magic flowing beneath my bones, beneath my very bones. I have the same feeling as the students walking by, sheer excitement, sheer interest in the people that I see. This is the feeling that brought me lots of victories upon which I felt tons of excitement.
Throughout my sports days as a teenager, I was in this happy realm. Once again, this brings me back to the question. What to do now that I'm no longer a teenager. What to do now that my time as an athlete at KES has ended? Bottom line...I am completely clueless of what to do next but I know it is time move on. Move on to find what you ask? This is unknown even in my simplest thoughts. All I do know is that I am in a constant search for my Utopia, and one day I hope to find it. Otherwise I am incomplete and in utter sorrow.
I speak of Utopia because Utopia is where your base is set. Your base as an athlete, your base as a person, your base as someone who is seeking forth for answers-the foundation of your curiosity/emotions. This is where I am lost. This is where I need help from my readers. I seek from you answers, or the easiest of advice you can give me. Remember folks, one simple word is all I need, or even mountains of words if you'd like. Don't forget, it has been six years since the accident, upon which I regret with all my heart, all my passion, and all my heart and all my soul.
In these past six years I have had some successes. I have done things that I was told I would never be able to do. You all have helped me along this journey, for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now I seek your assistance once again. Assistance in helping me find my Utopia. Assistance in helping me take that next step towrads recovery. Assistance in helping me overcome the trepidation that I currently feel.
However, at day's end it has happened again.... Hunger has grown in my belly. SO we'll see you next time. Until then, take good care of yourselves and try to use my words to both guide and support (help) you.
Signing Off,
Charbster
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey Charb,
Love your post. You are not alone when you say you are lost. Many folks feel a bit lost, or a lot lost. Some go to work and are clueless about what life holds for them. Others stay home and feel similarly.
For me, as an older person who devotes lots of time towards spiritual pursuits, I can say I am no longer lost. I am at peace. I wasn't always that way. I had to find what it was that rang my bell. Made me feel the light underneath my bones, as you so eloquently said.
For me, after I do my yoga practise, get enough sleep and food and make time for making art work, I seek to offer compassion towards myself and also definitely towards others. Theses acts of compassion towards the problems of others is what gives meaning to my life. Be the one who listens, be the one who offers sweet advice, be the one who looks into your heart to learn what life holds for you. Maybe you will become a coach, a life coach, a person who tells others how to survive after such a life altering event as your accident. Perhaps offer to talk at schools, to inspire those communities. Talk from your heart. Compose what the gist is of what you have to share.
One of the most powerful talks I ever heard at KES was from a young woman who saw her twin sister die in a car crash because of a drunk driver. She became a motivational speaker because of that experience. She told her story and begged people to not drink and drive.
Your recovery, your willingness to move forward and help others in their lives may be what rings your bell. Your blog is beautiful. Can you imagine doing more? Speaking in public? Telling your story? Sharing it with others in a public setting? Motivate others to live a life of compassion. I can see you doing that. Motivate others who are recovering from injuries that there is life after such an event. You are living proof of that.
Best to you, Ms. Zimmer
Post a Comment